Pterodactyls & Taking Chances
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao Tzu
I don’t consider myself a particularly courageous person. As a general rule, I stick to what I know in life. I seek comfort in the familiarity of a structured day and surprises make me anxious. I am only willing to leap into the unknown if I am confident that the results will be worth it. As you get to know me on this blog, this is something that is important for you, the readers, to know. With that in mind, let me take you on a stroll down memory lane.
Picture this: The year is 2013. Teens are gathering at Lariat Lanes in Pierre, SD for Thunder Alley, a black-lit bowling event held every Friday. 16-year-old Cassidy arrives with her then boyfriend and group of friends and heads straight to the parking lot, because no actual bowling is to take place, of course. She walks up to her fellow classmates and immediately notices a few new faces in the group, but thinks nothing of it. Conversation and laughter ensue. Soon after, one of the new guys (who is also there with his girlfriend) tucks his hands into his t-shirt sleeves to make wings and starts screeching like a pterodactyl. Cassidy and the weirdo lock eyes. She can see the idea form in his head. He runs at her and chases her around the group, squawking the entire time. Cassidy and the stranger, who happens to be none other than Collin Blade, instantly fall in love and the rest is history.
Well, maybe not quite. It’s all true up until the whole love at first sight thing. In reality, I thought Collin was nice enough, although kind of strange, and figured I would never see him again. A few months later, though, a friend invited him to a New Year’s Eve shin-dig, and he showed up with McDonald’s chicken nuggets to share with the group. Maybe that is when I really knew he was the one.
We became friends and a few months later, on February 24th, 2014, Collin finally mustered the courage to ask me to be his girlfriend. Since that day, we have never really followed the normal relationship milestones. We turned into a boring, married couple almost overnight. In fact, much to my parents’ dismay, I was essentially living with him long before I actually graduated high school.
From the start, we have had some extra challenges that many couples don’t have to face. When we got together, I knew Collin had a blood disease that he was continually doctoring for, which was already a whirlwind adventure that I had never planned on taking. Just four months into our official relationship, though, Collin’s health took a turn for the worse and his kidneys shut down. His body swelled like a balloon, so much so that I had to purchase larger clothes for him to wear to the hospital. He was taken to Sanford in Fargo where he was diagnosed and treated with dialysis for a condition known as Focal Segmental Gomerulosclerosis. Meanwhile, I was at back home, freaking out and questioning everything, as any 17-year-old would be.
During that time, a plan was made for Collin to try a new round of chemotherapy, which would leave him unable to have children but would potentially solve his kidney issues. The doctors gave him the option of checking out of the hospital to go to the reproductive clinic for some preventative measures, in case he decided he wanted to have kids in the future. I’ll never forget that phone call. This man, who I had essentially only known for six months or so, was asking me what I thought he should do. Talk about overwhelming.
It was in that moment that I had a huge, daunting decision to make, although I don’t think I knew I was making it at the time. During that phone call, where I told him that yes, I wanted kids some day and yes, he deserved the chance to have children of his own, I subconsciously made the brave decision to be in this for the long haul. I was ready to be by his side through every challenge, treatment, defeat, and triumph that was to come. And I am so glad I did because, just seven years in, it has already been one heck of a ride.
Since that one, incredibly courageous moment in our lives, a lot has happened. Collin accepted a position as the Store Manager of Runnings in Hettinger, ND and moved back home; I followed 6 months later after graduating, I earned a degree in Business Administration online, we bought a house, we got married, and we went through the process of IVF to have the most perfect little boy. Life has been full of blessings, but also full of those uncomfortable surprises that I am no good at handling. The chemotherapy that Collin endured in 2014 didn’t work and our journey with his health has resembled a bit of a bad Lifetime movie ever since. Currently, however, Collin is the healthiest he has been in a long time, and we are extremely thankful for that.
There is so much more to our love story than I can fit into one post, but this will have to suffice for now. Loving Collin was the best decision I have ever made and being loved by him is more than I ever could have imagined. He gives me strength and makes me brave, and I sincerely hope that you have someone who does that for you, too.
